i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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