Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
