Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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