her vagine was all disorganized.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
