Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
