I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
