My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
