in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
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The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
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I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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