that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
