Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
