Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize