i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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