I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
