white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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