Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
my nose is crying tears of wow.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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