So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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