If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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