We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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