im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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