I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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