C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
they need to just BURY HIM!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
