Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
