i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
