Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
