Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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