If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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