First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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