Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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