what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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