toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
