Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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