so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
