I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
