dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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