they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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