were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
