Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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