There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
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Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
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Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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