That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
