so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
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While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
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What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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