he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
