I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He shit in the fireplace
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize