it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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