Dude my mom stole all your condoms
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
