i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
