Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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