I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
