I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
