I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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