I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
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He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
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so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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