i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can't turn off my feet"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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