Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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