so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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