Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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