pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
