Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
