How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
