do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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