this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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