in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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