She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
